


My moon is upset with me

by JayAndJackLover



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst, Best Friends, Codependency, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Gen, M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-13 05:15:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28772943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JayAndJackLover/pseuds/JayAndJackLover
Summary: Jared thought he was a burden on Jensen...That's why Jensen was creating space between them...That's why Jensen said no to star in Walker....
Relationships: Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki
Comments: 6
Kudos: 35





	My moon is upset with me

**Author's Note:**

> Jared talking about the very first idea he had after deciding to end SPN was to produce a show with Jensen in it made me emotional in a good way. But thinking about that not happening and seeing some rude comments on it made me sad and I felt angsty... So this came out of my mind. I don't know how or why... But whatever...
> 
> Also this is based on a Hindi song ... So I translated the lyrics :)

_**My moon is upset with me** _  
_**Doesn't talk, doesn't meet** _  
_**How do I explain it to him?** _  
_**Doesn't understand the relationship is from the heart** _  
_**He didn't talk for weeks** _  
_**I don't even know why he is mad** _

Jensen could feel something was wrong. But he can't pinpoint what happened. Everything was okay. He and Jared talked everyday. But suddenly Jared was making excuses to hang up early or not picking up his calls. Jensen knew it was not that simple. Jared would never be too busy for him. He could feel Jared was upset. Jared was upset with Jensen. But he couldn't remember how he messed up and hurt his best friend. He feared he would hurt his best friend when he didn't accept his offer to star in Walker. But his friend was very understanding and supported his decision of trying something else somewhere else out of his comfort zone. And said he can come back to him anytime he wants and he will be waiting for him. But that was not the real reason for Jensen saying no. Jensen wanted Jared not to give up on his acting career yet. And it was such a perfect role for Jared. And Jensen saw the passion in Jared's eyes when he talked about his vision for the show. He knew nobody in the planet could do that character justice as Jared could. Because Jared was already feeling that character inside him. It took some convincing but he convinced Jared to star in it himself. And he is happy Jared took that role. It's gonna be so good. And Jared would call him or text him with every little tidbits from set. Jensen's fear was for nothing. They were good. Better than good. They were amazing. Until something upset Jared. Jensen sent Jared a text saying he misses him. But no reply.

_**The world is full of crowd** _  
_**But nobody looks like my own** _

Jensen sent Jared a text saying he misses him. Jared doesn't know what to say to that. He misses Jensen. He misses Jensen a lot. He has this huge new cast and crew. And everyone is good. But nobody compares to Jensen. Every time he makes a joke, his heart aches to hear the sound of Jensen's laughter. After every long shoot day, his body aches for a hug from his best friend. He just wants to hear that familiar voice saying some soothing words to him. And he was not prepared for this intense emotional pressure. Of course he knew how he and Jensen are with each other. All the time together. Of course he knew if he had to be away from him, it'd be hard. He just never let himself think of the possibility that he would have to live that day. When Jensen and he decided to finally end Supernatural, his first thought was he would produce a show, they'll shoot it in Austin and of course, of course Jensen will be the star of it. And they would work together. And they could live together with their beautiful wives and six beautiful children. There wouldn't be any missing birthdays, anniversaries, valentine's days etc. And they will have everything. After all, Jensen moved to Austin near him for this day, right? To share everything together. When Jensen said, he'd want to try something else somewhere else out of his comfort zone, Jared understood and told him he can come back to him anytime he wants and he will be waiting for him. 

_**People are crazy, they don't understand** _  
_**The relationship you and I have** _

_**You too love me, right?** _  
_**Then why are you keeping this distance?** _

Jared didn't see it like that at first. But then he saw a post. Then another. Then some more. People asking him to let Jensen go. People asking him to stop being selfish and stop holding Jensen down to his level. Jensen deserves better. Jensen deserves better than Jared, better than CW. People saying Jensen made the right decision saying no. Jensen was right to move out of Austin. And for the first time Jared thought maybe they were right. He knew Jensen loved him, cared for him. Maybe that's why Jensen didn't say anything. Maybe Jensen wanted space from him and Jared was too selfish and busy in his own head to see that. Maybe he was smothering Jensen and that's why Jensen needed to get out. And Jared decided no matter how much it hurts him, he will give Jensen some space. He wasn't Jensen's responsibility. Jensen shouldn't have to listen to him about non-sense when he could use the time to be with his family. Jensen didn't need to pass on other opportunities just cause Jared would like to work with him again. Jensen didn't need to carry Jared's burden.

_**Neither at night nor in the morning** _  
_**Not even when the sun sets I can get him** _  
_**How do I explain it to him?** _  
_**Doesn't understand the relationship is from the heart** _

Jensen tried to talk to Jared in the morning but Jared was on set and said he would call him later. He waited all evening but that call never came. Jensen texted Jared at night asking if Jared was free. Jared said he was too tired from the shoot and was going to bed. To say that Jensen was sad would be an understatement. 

**_Rituals are of such world_ **  
**_Whom the heart fears_ **  
**_Heart is helpless, want to meet_ **  
**_It cries, it aches_ **

Jared was giving Jensen space. But he didn't understand why Jensen was making it so hard for him. Why Jensen wasn't letting him go and be a mess alone! Jensen texted him all day long. And it was getting harder and harder for Jared to talk to him and not let all his emotions out in front of his best friend. It was not normal. He knew that. This deep feeling for his friend was not a normal friendship. But he never cared about it before because he felt it was mutual. To feel that he was pressuring Jensen to go with him on this against his own feeling was making Jared question himself even more than he used to. He doesn't want to cry. But his eyes are already wet. He wanted nothing more than to call Jensen and tell him about everything that happened on set today. But he sent a text instead saying he was too tired from the shoot. And went to bed.

**_My heart can die, without you_ **  
**_But can't live anymore_ **

**_The moments I pass without you_ **  
**_Every moment seems a bit difficult_ **

Jensen was done waiting. He told Danneel and she agreed that Jensen needed to see Jared in person and fix things before it gets too messed up. Gen also said Jared was upset for days. He needed to see his friend. He can't go to Toronto for 9 months without fixing this first. He needed Jared. He needed Jared to be there every single day of his life. He couldn't do it if Jared was not talking to him properly. He couldn't be away for almost a year without his best friend being upset with him. So Jensen went to Jared's house. He made plan with Gen so Gen already took the kids and dogs to her mom's place. 

**_I know this_ **  
**_I understand the relationship is from the heart_ **

Jared was tired from the shoot. Gen told him she made a sudden plan to visit her mom with the kids and she took the dogs too. He was a bit grateful for the time and space he got for the night. It was being too much to work, to be a full time husband and dad and without having Jensen to bounce it off of, everything was taking a toll on him. He opened the door put his keys on the counter. Then he heard the familiar voice.

-Hey Jared.

With the familiar smile. God he missed that smile. 

-Jensen?

Jared didn't think about anything. He forgot the whys and hows. He just went forward and pulled him into a hug. He missed hugging his friend. He missed it so much. It felt so good. It felt like coming home. 

-Missed you so much.

Jared was almost whispering. Not wanting to let Jensen go yet.

-Then why weren't you talking to me?

That brought everything back. Jared went stiff and pulled himself away from Jensen's hold. But Jensen grabbed Jared's wrist.

-I grilled some steaks for us. How about I bring those and we have dinner and then if you want I'll leave.

-Idontwantyoutoleave.

-What's that?

-I don't want you to leave.

-Then go freshen up and then sit on the couch and be a good boy.

They had their meal. Shared stories about their kids. And home life. Jared shared some stories from Walker set. But Jensen didn't brought up the subject of Jared ghosting him again. And Jared pushed it to the back of his mind. He just wanted to enjoy this night. Because Jensen was due in Toronto soon. And he isn't sure if Jensen was ever coming back.

Jensen took both of their plates and put them into the dishwasher. Two beer bottles in hand he sits beside Jared on the couch. Their shoulders and legs are touching like they always sit. Jared missed this closeness. A lot of his mental health depends on physical touch. And the person he depends on the most for it is Jensen. 

-You gonna tell me what I did wrong that you are mad at me?

Jensen's voice sounded wet, a little broken. It hurt Jared that he caused it.

-You didn't do anything wrong. I just.. I just wanted to give you some space, you know?

Jared didn't want to tell Jensen. He really didn't. But once he starts, it's hard for him to stop.

-I know you miss me and you are here because you think I need you but you shouldn't take this burden. You should focus on your family and your new job and a world full of possibilities. I know, I demand so much and I want you with me all the time. But I shouldn't have burdened you with all of my needs. I shouldn't have asked you to work with me again after we finished 15 years together. I shouldn't have keep saying it again and again not realizing you might not want to work with me again. I have had my time with you and I am grateful for it. I don't want to hold you down to my level. I forgot that you have a life without me. And I'm just trying to respect that. You should not worry about me.

Jensen looked so sad and hurt, Jared immediately wanted to take all his words back. Jared didn't realize he was crying until Jensen wiped his tears.

-Jensen, look I just...

-You think you are a burden to me? You think I don't want to be with you too? You are the best thing that ever happened to me idiot. And yes I wanted to try something else but I also wanted you to keep acting and I wanted to watch you shine and Walker was perfect for you. And I never planned to stay away for this long, you know that right? I don't know how to live without you. I had every plan to coming back to you. I am coming back to you as soon as I can. I promise.

-So you weren't putting distance between us? 

-No you moron. Don't you ever think that. I want to share every moment of our lives with you. I want our children to grow up together. 

-I'm sorry.

-Don't you ever shut me out like that ever again, okay? It hurt like a bitch.

-I promise.

Jensen pulled Jared into a half hug. Jared was resting his head under Jensen's chin on Jensen's chest. Both talking about nothing and everything in a hushed tone. Neither wanted to get out of the bubble they made. Jensen was petting Jared's hair while Jared was babbling about how his new co-stars were younger and it made Jared feel weird because he was used to being the baby on set. Jensen smiled at his friend. He doesn't say it but Jared will always be his baby brother. Everything was good and right again. They fell asleep on each other like that.

_**He didn't talk for weeks** _  
_**I don't even know why he is mad** _

_**My moon is upset with me** _  
_**Doesn't talk, doesn't meet** _  
_**How do I explain it to him?** _  
_**Doesn't understand the relationship is from the heart** _

Jared opened his eyes. He could feel Jensen's arm wrapped around him. That made him smile. He could feel Jensen was awake and was watching Jared.

-Good mornin' shackles. You watchin' me sleep?

Jared joked.

-I missed you.

Jensen didn't mean to be a sap first thing in the morning but he hadn't had his coffee yet so his brain was not in his full control.

-I missed you too. I'm sorry.

-Talk to me everyday, okay?

-Promise.

-And tell me everything. You don't have to go through anything alone, okay?

-Okay.

Jensen kissed on the top of Jared's hair. And then decided he was enough sappy for a day and he was done.

-Now go make me coffee, bitch.

-Jerk.

Jared laughed. Yeah, he's never letting Jensen go ever. That sucked.


End file.
